I know everyone knows someone that smokes a little weed, ok or maybe a lot....but not like this guy! I met...let's call him Ganja, no I'm kidding, maybe David. Well I met David at Venice Beach in Los Angeles, while I was walking past the basketball courts. David was playing basketball but he ran off the court to come talk to me. My father was in town visiting me so I was with him. I felt a little uncomfortable with a guy trying to talk to he in front of my large ex-football playing dad, but he seemed nice so I gave him my number. He called a couple of times over the next few days but I ignored his calls because I wasn't floored by him when I first met him. Finally I answered his call and he said he was at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood and did I want to met him there for drinks, and I agreed. When I got there he said he was driving around to the front, I said "I thought you were inside...I thought we were meeting for drinks." He replied "Well I'm with my boy, we can go someplace else," so I said ok. When he got out the car to meet me he had on some dirty jeans, an white basketball t-shirt and a orange zip up jacket with a hoodie. I'm thinking to myself I KNOW the Roosevelt Hotel did NOT let him in looking like that.  He said the had just come from the Renaissance Hotel pool party across the street. I was thinking yeah right, they didn't let you in there either looking like that. He then asked where I wanted to go. I suggested ONE on Sunset, but I let him know he needed to change. This fool then asked me to take him to his house around the corner....UMMMMM NO! I told him I didn't feel comfortable taking a guy I just met somewhere in my car. Then he suggested we just go to the Grove somewhere. I said we could go to the Whisper Lounge, but he still needed to change. He said he would run home and meet me there. I told him to meet me at the fountain in front of the movie theater. About 30 minutes later this ninja walks up to me wearing THE SAME DAMN CLOTHES I JUST TOLD HIM TO TAKE OFF!!
When I asked him why he didn't change he said....get this....He went to his house but he doesn't have any keys because he's staying with his boy and he didn't have his clothes there. WHAT???? So pretty much he doesn't have a house..or clothes. So I asked him how old he was. He said 33!!! CHILD PLEASE! Then he told me his friend dropped him off...which meant he didn't have a car either. Just WOW!
As we were walking to the Whisper Lounge, we passed a guy smoking some weed. This loser runs after the dude telling me "I'll be right back...2 minutes." I watched him as he ran behind the guy asking him if he could have some of his weed. They stood there and shared a blunt like two rastas at woodstook.....yes two ninjas that did not know each other sharing something that goes in your mouth. I almost ran to my car without saying anything.
After he was done he came back over to me with blood shot eyes and high as hell. I was so done. I was embarrassed to even be seen with him. Hewas so high, I couldn't even understand what he was saying. He kept talking over me, but all that was coming out of his mouth was mumbo jumbo. When we sat down at the table in this very nice lounge, instead of sitting across from me he sat next to me and he was so freaking MUSTY!!! I mean he smelled like Shaq after a playoff game with onions and garlic stuck under his arms. Who knows how long he had those clothes on. As I ordered my drink, he continued speaking in tounges, and I zoned him out. Then he didn't even order a water, so I knew not to order anything else because he was broke. I drank my martini down like a shake and told him I had an early morning. He had the nerve to ask me to take him back home again. I told him No. Then he asked would I sit and wait with him until his friend showed up and I told him No again. I jumped up and ran back to my car so fast I broke the heel tip on my shoes. He left me a message on my phone on my way home that I just deleted. I was too busy calling my friends to tell them I was just on HELL DATE or at least I thought I was..but the little midget in the devil suit never popped out! 

Email Me Your Horrible Dating Stories Here , I will post them anonymously.

The video below (courtesy of Dimewars.com) almost brought me to tears. It brings up very relavent yet sterotypical reasons why black women can not date a white man as easily as a black man can date a white woman. 
I don't agree with everything that is said in this viedo, but it is something to think about. I just have a problem with the woman speaking at the end about not having a man and being educated yet she speaks with a twang, has a gold superman necklace on and has a sloppy blonde wig on. I just can't take her seriously. Tell me what you think about what's being said...

About the 5:30 mark of the video it gets a little inappropriate. So if you are watching at work skip forward about 15 seconds....

Since childhood, your parents and teachers are always teaching you to practice abstinence until your married or at least until you are mentally ready. But what if you save yourself for marriage only to find out you CAN'T have sex!

I was watching the Tyra Banks Show recently and she was speaking to married couples who can't have sex. Some have been married from 2-7 years as virgins. That has to be so horrible to not be able to make love to your husband or significant other, so I did some research on this subject. They actually have a medical term for this, its called Vaginismus. Vaginismus is defined as vaginal tightness or spasms causing discomfort, burning, pain, penetration problems, or complete inability to have intercourse. This condition is part physical, part mental. These women report waiting so long to have sex, its like a wall has been put up and penetration can not happen, not even for a tampon or a gynecological speculum.

I had a friend in college that had this problem. She used to always say she thought her boyfriend was too big and that was the problem, but when we met him, we like "Honey..we know he's not packing." But then she would complain about the same problem with guys after him.

There isn't an FDA cure approved to treat Vaginismus, but sex therapist suggest various relaxation techniques. I don't feel you need to wait until your 30 or married to have sex. I know some are restricted by religion or other issues, but when your feel you are ready, it should be ok. You don't want to end up almost 30 and can't have sex...that must be awful and painful! What do you think? Could you be in a relationship with a person you couldn't have sex with?

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you felt like you have "settled?" You would be surpised how often women "settle" in a relationship just to be with someone or to be with the guy that will marry them. Alot of men say it is hard to find a quality woman, but I'm sure its harder to find a man who is pleasing to the eye, has goals and dreams, a career or potential career, and will treat you with love and respect. So what do you do when your significant other isn't your first choice??

I can honestly say I have been in this situation. At the time I was in a relationship when I fully respected my significant other, but I felt I connected more with another man. The other man was a very close friend of mine. We laughed at the same jokes including our inside jokes, we talked on the phone for hours, we had interest in similar things, we are comfortable being silly or in uncomfortable situations around each other, we are both attracted to each other, we even said things at the same time like twins. The only thing that kept us apart was the fact that HE didn't want to be in a relationship because he felt he wasn't ready or maybe he just didn't want to be in a realtionship with me. Either way the relationship never got past the friendship stage. So of course I am too much of a catch to sit around and wait so I decided to spend my time with someone else...but he wasn't my first choice. Can relationships like this last? Can you learn to love your second choice like your first?

What's crazy is my first choice told me I will never be able to be in a serious commited relationship while he is apart of my life. Is he right?

Scroll to the 5:00 mark. Chris Rock explains the Number #1 reason why a woman is always pissed off....

Here are the some of the DUMB reasons guys will stop dating you. I can't say I blame them, but make sure you aren't any of these girls...

I love a man that cares about his appearence, but when he takes longer than me to get ready or plucks his eyebrows, that's a bit much.  

A few years ago a very good guy friend of mine and I went out to a lounge for drinks with friends. One of his friends was a very well known NFL player. I wont even attempt to mask his name we will just leave him anonymous. When I tell you this man was GORGEOUS....OMG! Anyway, we really connected that night. We talked all night and he asked if I wanted to go to dinner later on the week. The night we were scheduled to go to dinner he calls me to say he was sending a car to pick me up because he was still getting ready. I didn't think much of it, I just thought he had a busy day.

When the car dropped me off at the condo he was renting for the summer (he played for a team in another state and trained in Los Angeles in the off season) I took the elevator up to his unit. The door was open. I knocked just to be courteous, he yelled from the back "Come on in sweetie, have a seat." His apartment was really nice, it was obviously decorated by an interior decorator, or so I thought. I kid you not when I tell you the whole apartment smelled like Victoria Secret Love Spell. I wear the same scent from time to time so I know. Either he just kicked some female out right before I got there or he has a maxed out Angels card. 

He came out of his bedroom with just a pair of slacks on and a bare chest...I almost fainted. He looked SOOOO GOOD! He complimented me on how great I looked and then he told me he loved my shoes. He gave me a hug, and I took a long sniff...yep the Love spell was on him. Oh well this man could wear Chanel #5 and I wouldn't care. His skin was so smooth and buttery I didn't want to let him go. He told me to help myself to some bottled water or whatever I wanted in the fridge, but I told him I was fine. He said he would be ready in a minute, so I had a seat back on the couch. 25 minutes passed and he still wasn't ready...What the hell??? So I decided to grab a water. When I went into the kitchen I could see his reflection in the bathroom mirror....he was leaning over the sink PLUCKING HIS EYEBROWS.    I threw the water back in the fridge and ran back into the living room before he saw me.

When he finally came out, he looked so perfect I thought it was his wax sculpture in Madam Tussaud's Museum.
 He grabbed his man purse off the table near the door and we left for dinner...yes I said man purse.

Perfect man was a great date, we had great conversation although I swear he kept licking his fingers and smoothing out his eyebrows and then titling his knife to look at them. Then when he turned his head I noticed he had concealer on a small blemish on the side of his face. Right then and there I was DONE! I want to describe what his face and hair looked like but I would totally give him away.

He called and texted me a few times after that, we had small talk but I just couldn't bring myself to date a man who I knew thought he looked better than me. I could just see us hitting the red carpet and him stepping in front of me. No Thank You!

ESSENCE.com caught up with the Buffalo Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens to discuss his emotional reunion with his dad and grandmother and what he really thinks about Black women.

ESSENCE.COM: Speaking of women, a lot of sisters believe you don't have an interest in Black women. Is that the case?

OWENS: Not at all. Black women I do love you. Honestly, if I were to reveal the Black females I've dated, the women who are accusing me of that would be surprised. I've had a lot of Black women hit me up on Twitter accusing me of not liking my own kind and all I have to say is that they are thinking too much. These women don't know me like that to have something negative to say about the women I date. Perhaps I have a certain type of woman that I like and a preference and I shouldn't be faulted for that. And for the record, I'm very familiar with headscarves because my grandmother wore them. I was just saying to Kiya that the women I date don't wear them because it's the truth. If I'm dating a Black woman and we hang out it doesn't mean she's sleeping over, so I might never see her in a headscarf. Again, I think some women are thinking too much about this because I love Black women.

That's all fine and dandy Terrell that you make these statements to a black woman's magazine...but for some reason I don't  believe you...YOU NEED MORE PEOPLE! On the other hand, Terrell Owens has been recently linked to Sports Illustrated beauty Jessica White, but as you will see on his reality show "The T.O. Show" next week, he dates Jessica for a hot second then tries to go back to his 22-year old white girl Kari.

I recently had a conversation with a close friend of mine. We were talking about early dating do's and dont's and the topic of When Should A Guy be Invited To Your House For The First Time came up. I hate when I met a guy, and instead of coming up with a creative first date or even just suggesting dinner, he just wants to come to your house and "watch movies."  That is cause for immediate dismissal. Even in college, I wasn't open to that idea of a first date. I believe that a guy should spend time with me outside of my private space before he is invited into my home. If I am really feeling the guy after a couple of dates, because that's all the time I need to determine if I want to spend any more time with a man, then I may invite him to my house for a glass of wine and random tv while we talk and get to know each other better. By no means does this mean your getting any cookies, its just means that I like you and trust you enough to let you sit on my couch and entertain my company.

Also I will never let a man invite me to HIS house as a first date. First of all that's lazy. Even if he tries to camaflouge the night with dinner at his place, I'm still not falling for it. On a first date or even second, I should not have to get dressed, get in my car and drive to his house, just to turn around and drive back to my house late at night. Actually when you put it that way it just seems plain rude.

What do you think?

Ok dating is a part of life. Sometimes you have a good date and sometimes you have a bad one, but in this case, this was one of the WORST dates I have ever had. Oh trust I've had many and I will eventually share them all, but I will start with this one. Before you read this please know that this story is completely true. Yes, America this freak lives among us...

A few years ago a mutual friend introduced me to...let's call him Greg.  Greg and I met at a mixer and agreed to go out.  A couple of nights later we met at really nice restuarant. When he told me where we were going I decided to wear a really cute Diane Von Furstenburg wrap dress and a pair of really great Manolo's I had stolen from my mom. When I met him in the waiting area of the restaurant, he had on ratty, baggy jeans and a white t-shirt and some sneakers. I was like "Ok" but of course I didn't say anything. So we had small talk while we looked over the menu. When the waiter came he immediately ordered not only before me but FOR me. He ordered two medium rare steaks. So I thought, Ummmm..look here bruh, I don't eat steak, and I damn sure don't eat it half raw! Instead I polietly said, "Oh no thank you, I don't eat steak, but I would love the Chicken Piccata." 

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T EAT STEAK" was his response. 
I just looked at him and repeated myself and said "I don't eat steak." I mean do I need to explain myself about what I eat and don't eat.

So after that he started to irritate me. You know when you don't like someone anymore everything they do irritates you. Every word that came out his mouth just floated in one ear and out the other. This is what I heard "Blah Blah Blah I played basketball in high school but I wasn't good enough to get a college scholarship so I play intramural ball...blah blah...I used to drive a Benz but it got totaled in an accident...blah blah...I'm in the middle of closing on a house but I live in the ghetto for right now...blah blah."

Finally the check came. We sat there for almost 20 minutes before I said "Oh look the waiter brought the check." He picked up the check and pulled out his wallet and put some cash in the black folder then he looks at me and said "Do you have any cash on you, this bill was kinda high."

WAS HE SERIOUS!! Even though I had cash in my purse I said "NO." One because he was about to order an more expensive steak for me, and two he was the one who suggested this restaurant. He hesitated for a minute and then acted like he was reaching back in his pocket for more money. He then faked like he put more money in the folder but he didn't because I was watching him like a hawk. We then got up and left the restuarant. So pretty much we half skipped on the bill. 

He said he would walk me to my car. I was half running because I just knew someone from the restaurant was gonna come out running after us. When we got to my car, which I'm glad I didn't valet because they would've got us, He leaned in like he was going to kiss me. I moved my head and told him I didn't kiss on a first date. I opened my door, got in and slammed the door. I must have almost smashed his fingers because he jumped back as I sped off. 

I thought I was in clear but this loser calls me on my cell about five minutes later. Of course I sent him to voicemail. He proceeded to leave a message on my service calling me a gold diggin stuck up snob. Saying that I could've helped out with the bill and kissed him for spending his money on me. He ranted for about three minutes on my voicemail about how he hates meeting LA chicks like me. Trust me I HATE meeting broke fronters like him more. 
Its safe to say I never saw Greg again, but I ripped our mutal friend a new one when I told him about the date.